Are you who you want to be?

I want to be better with my time. I want to spend more time with my family, not just be home physically. That’s just being present but not really being there. I want to put in my 10,000 hours and be good with my guitar. I want to hone my craft and be better at editing. I want to learn more about editing by doing a diverse range of work. I want to finish my story. I want to read more, see more and understand better. I want to earn more money and accquire more material possessions. (Yes I know that it’s just more stuff that I have no space for.)

Though, I know all that. I recognise that I am not forwarding myself on some of those fronts. I would like to think that knowing and acknowledging that fact is a step forward in and of itself. It’s hard but necessary. And with recognition of this fact, I hope I would move out of my comfort zone and pursue the things I want on all fronts. For me, the first step forward is my guitar lessons.

Are you the person you want to be? Are you doing anything to become that person? Food for thought.

To share or not to share?

I write my blog to share my thoughts and opinions on certain subjects. However, my experiences in my day to day life and my day job are also sources of my blog posts. I find it hard seperating what is ok for me to write about and what isn’t.

Is it ok to write about things that happened to me directly even though it might involve others? Is it ok as long as I don’t mention their names? Is it as long as I do not mention their background? This is a conundrum for me.

For an example, I am doing online dating at the moment. Is this too private for me to share? However, this is an event or on-going event that involves me and nobody else that I know in real life. What if the person doing online dating is a friend? A family member? A colleague? What right do I have putting the events of their life that they told me in private and me putting up here for the world to read about? On the other hand, what if I had some strong opinion about it?

Anyone has the same problem?

Maybe this is an issue of the nature of my blog. Maybe I need to pick a topic and stick to it like the many tech blogs I read. But I do see the bloggers of their respective blogs talking about their children. So where do you draw the line? Is there a right place for the line to be?

That also brings up the issue of posting photos of your children online. Does the parents have the right to do that for their children? But that’s going down another rabbit hole.

Anyone has any thoughts on this?

Foul mouthed Grandmother

What do you do when you have a foul mouth grandmother? What do you do if that grandmother has dementia? What do you do if she lives with you?

It is very hard to keep an even temper in the face of a foul mouth person. It is very hard to remember she wasn’t always like this. It is next to impossible not to lose your temper at her when she is like that every single day.

My grandmother has dementia. Sometimes she has good hours, sometimes she has bad hours. More often than not, she is on the bad end of the spectrum. My domestic helper (maid) bears the brunt of things. My family step in when her verbal abuse get out of hand. Sometimes, I shout at her. Sometimes, I just ask her why her mouth is so foul.

Then, there are times when her mind is clear, crystal clear. That’s when my heart would break, she would ask for death. How can anyone give an answer? Most times, we would blow off her question and treat it as a joke. Nobody has an answer for her, at least not an answer I or anyone would say.

With her dementia, it feels like she is decaying from inside out. The mind is the organ that holds everything together. Is it better to fall apart without knowing it?


Cookie the therapy dog

Cookie Cookie is my adopted pet Pomeranian. She is 4 years old and the best thing that has happened in my life.

Initially, we adopted Cookie purely out of chance. I got a call from a friend asking if I wanted to do a trial run with Cookie. I had initially adked if i could do a trial run with her other dog. If it didn’t worked out, she would find another home for Cookie. A quick look at my family. My mother is afraid of all furry animals. My father retired recently so he is home a lot. My brother is still studying. My grandmother, her behavior is erratic at best then. My domestic helper who has to cook, wash and carry out all manner of errands to keep the house running.

Yes, we did a trial run. Cookie turned out to be very suitable for my mother. She doesn’t run towards humans, rather she walks or trots if she even approach at all. More often then not, Cookie would run away when approached. And I am so glad I said yes.

My initial idea was to have Cookie be a therapy dog for my grandmother. My grandmother would have a warm body accompanying her constantly. However, my grandmother didn’t take to Cookie. She would kick or hit Cookie if she is jealous, so Cookie generally avoided my grandmother.

Cookie became a therapy dog for the rest of the family as my grandmother got increasingly difficult to handle. Whenever my grandmother did something to make me angry, I would go carry Cookie. The anger would just drain from me.

So that’s Cookie’s job now. She is all that’s stands between the family and insanity.

Check out out Cookie’s page.

Difficult elderly person

I live with my grandparents. Actually, just my grandmother since my grandfather had passed away 5 years ago. My grandmother wasn't a very difficult person to live with but recently she has behaved and acted worse and worse.

She require a domestic helper to help her shower, dress and prepare her meals. For a while, that was all. Then, she needed to wear adult diapers which she hated. She would wear them and then rip them off in the night. Now, it has become so bad that she would refuse to sleep at night, insisting on walking in and out of her room on her walker. And she would fall.

She would throw tantrums, slam the door, shout regardless the time of the day or night, pinch or slap anyone just to get her way.

This has been going on for quite a while. It is draining for everyone mentslly, physicslly snd financially. The whole family is getting tired, or rotatable by all her antics. We are all at our wits' ends.

I tried searching for a help group or a course or any literature on how to handle a difficult elderly person in Singapore. I couldn't find any. Is there no resources for us? Singapore has an aging population, shouldn't there be more information for this?

Anyone has more information on this?